Thursday, July 16, 2009

*gesture*

Listening to Spice Girls on the way home tonight I realized what had started a year ago tonight. I was halfway-composing an emo blog, but you know, I am not feeling emo. I am feeling energized and well-rested and in love with life. So fuck that. ha!

Remind me sometime later to write a post about my failure as an environmentalist.

Thinking about joining my church here in Springfield. As far as FBC-Sf vs. LMBC goes, sure, it would make more sense to be a member of FBC now that I'm here for a good long while. But what's holding me back is...I mean...I just don't believe some of the whole Baptist doctrine. The whole Christianity doctrine. I love church. I love being involved and helping people and the superficial kind of stuff. But I 100% do not believe John 14:6, the whole no one comes to the Father except through Jesus thing. And probably to join a church I'd have to agree to some sort of basic doctrine, and that would be on it. And I can't lie to join a church, for goodness' sake. So I would be joining for the wrong reasons, I guess? I want to join because it's weird for me to be so involved and not even be a member, mostly. So that I can be a better part of the community. Not for any God-type reasons at all...

I mean, look at my facebook page. My religious beliefs are not "love God, love people" (the essence of Christianity, I would say). My religious beliefs are "love your neighbor as yourself."

Don't get me wrong, I believe in God, and I love Him (It? Her?). But I just don't see how that's anywhere near as relevant, as important, as necessary, as doing everything you can to end suffering here in the terrestrial realm.

In conclusion...I have no motivation to remain a member at my home church. But I don't think I can honestly join a church with my current belief set.

2 comments:

  1. I think that loving God is inextricably connected to loving others - and loving others means we serve them and do everything we can to improve the quality of life for every person we encounter. In my heart, it's all the same.

    Doctrine is good and important (and helps us create the families and communities that Christians need in order to celebrate God), but, remember our talk on the Fourth? In the end, doctrine is simply words and technicalities and issues we can never really prove. We're trying to use words to define something that defies definition - and then letting our discrepancies on that divide us. Kind of silly, really.

    You should read Velvet Elvis.

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  2. I think I MAY have an inkling of an idea about what you're going through...hehe.

    I especially like this: "Don't get me wrong, I believe in God, and I love Him (It? Her?). But I just don't see how that's anywhere near as relevant, as important, as necessary, as doing everything you can to end suffering here in the terrestrial realm."

    I wish I had something solid to say here, but I don't. I pretty much disregard any kind of doctrine at this point, and while I don't throw the Bible out entirely, I only see it as a historical and literary document.

    I really wanted to throw the phrases "so to speak" and "don't throw the baby out with the bathwater" in there somewhere, but I haven't had enough caffine.

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