countdown

(I set this deadline for myself a couple weeks ago, but haven't written it down anywhere until now; maybe this'll keep me honest, heh.)

So I have 18 days left to purge myself of a lot of bitterness.

What happened to me wasn't that bad. It's not anyone's fault* that it occurred on the tail end of a major depressive episode [and probably prolonged it]. I don't have the right to be so bitter toward a person when it was my own brain-chemical imbalances that were causing the bulk of the pain.

But, hooray! 18 days until I can listen to the hush sound, to panic at the disco, to MY FAVORITE MUSIC, without longing for what never could have been. 18 days until remembering the best experience of my high school years (MSA) doesn't make me cranky. 18 days until Batman Whatever-the-Joker-movie-is-called doesn't piss me off. 18 days until I no longer just kind of glare whenever I hear the name "West Plains."

18 days until I can read the chunk asterisked above without a bunch of bitter, snide remarks running through my head...

The whole "trusting men ever again" thing will take longer, because that wasn't his sole doing. But maybe this is a step down that road? I mean, not that that's even a road I WANT to go down, ever, necessarily...