Socialized with my new job tonight. It was a blast. I left feeling energized, strong, secure.
Then I came home and facebook, on some freak algorithm, showed me a thumbnail to S' profile. It's a new picture, thank God only of him, but this time his amazing smile's not for me.
And now I'm absolutely falling apart.
So far as I've braced myself I hadn't really been thinking about him specifically.
I thought he was everything.
He's certainly all I know for summer.
And everything he did was only for me.
And what do I have to show for it?
I've dated a couple idiots who've made me feel completely, completely worthless.
And he apparently has something worth keeping around for months longer than he and I ever made it.
why?
