Background: so our church hires police officers to come hang out during the service, one in uniform in the back lobby and one in plainclothes to sit in the front row. Miss Meme hangs out in the choir loft, whether singing or violining.
Today, from my perch in the front row of the choir loft, I noticed something. The plainclothes cop was really hot. I may have stared. I may have lusted. Worse things have happened. I felt a little bad, but I felt a lot worse when, after the service, I was TOTALLY BUSTED.
The music minister--who, during the sermon, sits in the same front corner as the cop--came up to me and asked if I know the security guard guy. "um...no?" I mumble, realizing I've been caught. "I thought you were looking at me at first, but then I realized you were looking at him." "um...yeah...he's...a cutie" I trail off, dying of embarrassment. The music minister asked if I wanted him to introduce me, but I decline, as I realize how OBVIOUS I had been.
Tra la, pack up my violin, call Erica over and tell her my tale, start to head out, and the music minister catches me again. "He's getting married," he discloses. "Aw, too bad" I mumble, still pretty embarrassed...but at the same time amazed that this 40- or 50-something man did that kind of detective work* for me!!! Freaking awesome. I mean, seriously! I mean, I realize that his helpfulness probably springs from the archaic expectation that a good Baptist girl must be married off as soon as possible (see also how the next Sunday School class up after "college" is "young marrieds"), but still.
(You know, that married-off-as-soon-as-possible thing itself probably stems from good ol' young-folks horniness. Better to get married and do it than be single and do it.)
*I'm lolling at the music minister doing detective work on a cop for me.
My life is so ridiculous.
I love it.
Hahahahaha. Only you.
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