if you seek amy tonight...

so, on the one hand, it's liberating to be making bad decisions just because it feels good...

but then I think of Nietzsche's ideas of slave morality and that essay I read last semester relating this to "hookup culture." The master's morality is two choices, right and wrong; whether the slave chooses to obey the master and do the "right," or rebel against the master and do the "wrong," the moral decision is still made within the framework of the master's morality and is therefore still under the master's control. The slave is not thinking for him- or herself in this framework even through rebellion.

So, then, society sends a lot of mixed messages regarding female sexuality, but it doesn't take much for a girl to be a "slut." More or less (and I'm thinking in, like, the environment in which I grew up, not the aforementioned hookup culture lol), the ideal femininity is pure and reserved and monogamous and does not lust and, idk, all that. And I was okay with this sexual identity for a while. But it's rather a lot of pressure--and NO fun. And so what? Well, first breaking out of that mold was pretty traumatizing, akshuly, but I have since gotten used to it.

But why, why, why do I do this? Is it pure hedonism? I've realized very recently that there is a degree of rebelling-against-good-girl-expectations in my decision-making. Which scares me. Because that's not my own decision. Choosing one of the two options in a broken system is still very much supporting and upholding the broken system.

with a taste of your lips i'm on a ride...
i'm addicted to you, don't you know that you're toxic?

So, in conclusion, bad decisions just because it feels good is NOT liberating at all. The only good thing about it is, well, that it feels good. Which has some value. I mean...I plan to keep making such decisions, for the meantime at least.

P.S. Once again Randall Munroe takes it upon himself to answer the tough questions definitively. Amazing!