A few things.

1. It strikes me that it was possibly a Poor Choice to begin to listen to the Hush Sound again (first time in months and months) at the same time as I'm weaning myself off antidepressants. LOL

2. I met a new student today! I have him after school for an hour a couple times a week, and when there is an opening in my class he will move to that spot (probably Julyish). We had an amazing first session! He cried one time, when--wait for it--HE WAS LEAVING! ^_^

3. It's really cold in my room right now. Tomorrow's supposed to be really cold. Wtf I thought it was spring!

4. So I'm leaving for KC immediately after school tomorrow, and I just realized that I haven't packed at all. I haven't been there since Christmas :-x and I have a lot of junk to get rid of, hehe (namely heavy coats, stuff I want my mom to mend, etc).

5. Catherine Zeta-Jones might be the most beautiful person alive.

update

and if the timing is right to sneak off into the night
i'll let myself be taken just for the thrill
and if i'm given the chance to be a doll in his hands
i will be sure we shake the mountains while we dance

See my old posts regarding hedonism and such. Still valid.

Not so valid: my old identification with the following lyrics:
you sit there in your heartache
waiting on some beautiful boy to save you from your old ways

I don't want a beautiful boy to save me. Boys don't, CAN'T do that, and it's foolish to expect it. Prince Charming syndrome...I may have grown up on Disney movies, but they're completely unrealistic. Plus, being saved from my old ways--the price of that, as I learned last summer, would be making myself vulnerable. I've witnessed enough hurting, I don't want to go anywhere near that. The best I can hope for, for the time being at least, is to have some fun...while keeping my heart tucked safely away.

i have no doubt that i could love you forever
the only trouble is, i really don't have the time
i have one night only, one night only, that's all i have to spare
one night only, let's not pretend to care

(lyrics: the hush sound, "boys are too refined;" the killers, "when you were young;" dreamgirls, "one night only")

P.S. It's snowing. I do NOT approve. What ever happened to spring??

blaggity bloggity blah

Hmm. So, I've used xanga for years, but that's really the domain of whiny little emo kids...I suppose it's time for something a little more grown-up. I have been journaling regularly since midsummer; perhaps I can also have the discipline to blog. eh, we'll see. Plus, when better to try than the new year? Gosh, I can't even TELL you how excited I am to finally be rid of 2008.

Resolutions, as articulated on said xanga several days ago, and for original material, 3-days-in reflections:

-to read more: I read two chapters of Harry Potter today!
-to get a decent amount of sleep: yeah I went to bed at 4.
-to be nicer: ha, yeah, not gonna happen.
-to wish on stars: I never SEE the stars.
-to dance in the rain: entirely too cold for now.
-to make kisses meaningful and memorable: whatever.
-to be beautiful: well, shyeah.
-to not do things I know will hurt me: so far so good.
-to not be afraid of trying new things: I tried the chocolate martini Bee made me the other night?
-to appreciate my amazing friends and not let stupid things come between us: yeah!
-to be happy: tra la
-to let bygones be bygones: yeah burned that bridge so it's pretty much, bye, gone!
-to carpe diem: eh, I can seize tomorrow, I'm sleepy.
-to forget the past but not the lessons: *glaring*
-to help people: I offered to take a fussy baby at a funeral today to the nursery so the mom could be at the service? lol.
-to make the world a better place: hahaha, not to be cliche or anything.
-to go: yeah I don't really know what I mean by this either.

In other news, it was 60-something degrees out today; as such, Bee and I went swinging. Obviously. In the summer and early fall (basically until it got cold) I went swinging sooooo often...it's just an easy first step for something to do when I am, or one of my girlfriends is, sad, you know? But today, for me, it was more about enjoying the weather than about pumping out my disappointment. Hooray for warmth! I get so dang grouchy when it's cold, I think I have finally accepted that I really need to move someplace WARM when I graduate.

Peace out, home slices. Thanks for tuning in.
meme