Can you read my mind?

I don't know. I feel like I should have something to say. I am not sure that I actually do.

I've been living the last couple weeks thinking (on an obviously subconscious level) that it was actually the end of the summer, like, as far as my relationships and interactions with friends and family go. I know that doesn't make any sense. But whenever someone would mention some time point of reference I would catch myself thinking it was August...despite, yes, obviously it's ridiculously cold out. I never said this was a logical situation.

I have an awful memory. I always have. But on top of that, my mind is overactive when it comes to forgetting the negative...I can't tell if it's suppression or repression, but, I know I hardcore do it. My general rule for my basic bad memory is that I have about a year's worth of long-term memory, and after a year passes I only have vague recollections of certain anecdotes, rather than remembering my life as a whole. But that's not true right now; I remember NOTHING of the Spring 2008 semester. I...yeah. One day stands out (as living in infamy? perhaps. lol) but the semester as a whole...I'm like, what, I didn't live with Ashley? I took yoga??? I took a Spanish class, didn't I, maybe? I...whatever I did? It's really unnerving. Oh, but then, I just bought some lotion that I last used last winter and the smell of it is bringing up, just, a sense for my room last year, my roommates last year, stuff I don't remember at all.

*shrug.*

Another thing I've been thinking about a lot lately is the concept of "home." I am not so sure I have a home right now. I don't say this to be emo, I just, lol I don't know if you know this about me but I think a lot. My parents' house ceased to be my home last summer. *shudder.* And here? These girls are just as much my family, but, it's hard to use a word like "home" when I'm only gonna be here a couple months...
Home is raiding the refrigerator and playing board games with Caitlin, Bethany, and Danny in the middle of the night.
Home is swinging with any of my girls when we're blue, sometimes even in January.
Home is falling asleep on the couch Latesa's bed with Ashley and Lindsey.
Home is making funny noises, funny faces, singing randomly, and not only not-being-judged, but being joined.
Home is a backrub, holding hair, and wisecracks for each other when we're sick.
Home is where we can best make fun of each other because we know each other so completely.
Home is where we don't need to finish sentences to communicate.
Home is where the heart is, they say--
So my home isn't a place. L-town, ehh. Springtown, ehh.
My home is Caitlin, Ashley, Lindsey, Latesa, Bethany. I don't know what that means for May...I mean, hell, I don't really know what it means for now. Because I can't have you all at the same time!! <3