Foreshadowing

Second weekend together with her new long-distance beau. They embrace on the couch in a borrowed living room. Her new favorite album, the soundtrack to her summer, fills the air. She teasingly sings along from time to time. In the middle of summer. He smiles silently.

Until the last track. He sings, I don't love you, I'm just passing the time.

He breaks up with her first thing in the morning.

Vague but emo

(or vaguely emo?)

Words cannot describe what a total mindfuck I am going through.

To follow up on a theme in my recent posts, I've finally gotten last summer out of my head. Like, completely. I know I loved him, but I don't remember liking him. Not like I...

I did something remarkably stupid last night. I read through my journal from a few summers ago.

And for me it's pure deja vu. It's the exact same story. I'm reacting the exact same way.

How could I let that happen?

always turning back to you 'til you never let me down
loving your illusion, staring at a crooked ground
...you always let me down

Wanna know a secret?

On May 1, 2010, I watched the movie Adam. It is about a young man who has Asperger's and how he finds love, all that.

After seeing it, my main impression was, I could totally date a guy with Asperger's.

On May 30, 2010, I met a guy with Asperger's.

So my secret is...it kind of started as a dare to myself. Don't get me wrong, it went BEYOND that pretty quickly. But that's definitely how it started.

No regrets, just love

I miss the feelings.

Endorphins. Oxytocin. You know.

I don't know that I miss him.