Wondering

Is there a point at which an obsessive feeling lasts long enough that the feeling must be legitimate? I feel like mere obsessions burn out pretty quickly.

a little bit possessive, little miss obsessive, can't get over it

On a related note: I have a facebook status all planned out for May 30. However, that's the day after we move, so A) we probably won't have internet access and B) I will probably be too busy to remember to get worked up enough to post it. what to dooooo! ;)

Unrealistic

I build myself up a box of fantasy, shutting out my instincts, shutting out common sense, shutting out advice from those who love me. I crawl in and shut the lid tightly and remain there in bliss for as long as I can. Completely delusional. Eventually reality creeps in and I wonder how I ever believed the lies I told myself, because now their falseness is obvious.

But I don't know how to pop the bubble. I can tell when I bury a thought that I'm building up the walls, but I like it. The box is a very comforting place for me. I can't stop.

I guess the best I can do is not drag anyone else in there with me. Breaking my own heart is nothing new. But I can't invite someone else to my fantasy...

And I feel like, "it's not that my instincts are saying 'no' and I'm ignoring it. It's that I can't tell WHAT my instincts are saying." But they said "no" for months and months and months. Why should something have changed? (Rhetorical question. I have all sorts of justification-type answers, of course.) And I don't know how to break down the walls to get a clear reading.

I just get so obsessive.
I always have.

love love love love love

but

surely not?

I Got Your Crazy

you put on quite a show, really had me going

new playlist time!
this one is called:

I Got Your Crazy
or, The Other Woman Scorned
(or, Angry Girl Playlist 2.0)

and it goes out to Ben, Mr. Honeywell, and anyone else who's ever made "the other woman" out of an honest woman only to screw her over.

---

Why Did I Ever Like You - Pink
(I'd still have all my hate for you intact even if I lost everything)

Fighter - Christina Aguilera
(made my skin a little bit thicker, makes me that much smarter)

Womanizer - Britney Spears
(you've got me going, you're oh so charming, but i can't do it)

Kiss N Tell - Ke$ha
(I can find someone way hotter, with a bigger......)

Don't Cha - Pussycat Dolls
(don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?)

Girlfriend - Avril Lavigne
(and hell yeah I'm the motherfucking princess)

Love You Much Better - The Hush Sound
(one day soon I'm gonna grab you by the collar and kiss you all I want)

Again Again - Lady Gaga
(you've got a lot, a lot of nerve coming here)

Smile - Lily Allen
(see you messed up my mental health, I was quite unwell)

7 Things - Miley Cyrus
(you like me, you love her*)

Never Again - Kelly Clarkson
(I would never wish bad things, but I don't wish you well.)

Take a Bow - Rihanna
(don't tell me you're sorry 'cause you're not)

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*not the actual lyric, I realize, but it's how I learned it and how I hear it.